She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
