My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
