there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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