there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
