Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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