Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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