no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
