This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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