After last night, I could never be a politician.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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