i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
