Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
