I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
