chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
