We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want to have your abortion
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
