no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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