I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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