I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
