Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
