I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
