Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
