hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
