just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
