SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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