Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
