About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
