His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have aggressive nipples.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
