butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
