We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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