Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
