Someone shit on the floor
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
