I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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