...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
