i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
