Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's never too late to be topless.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
