I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
