she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
