I am full of burrito and curiosity
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
