Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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