Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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