I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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