i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
