apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
