Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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