smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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