I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Randomize
