fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
