I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
