Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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