doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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