the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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