Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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