You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
