Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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