he puts the penis in happiness.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
