i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize