They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize