He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
