How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
