you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
