dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
