well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
